» Articles posted by Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN

Communicating More Effectively with Your Spouse

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN A deep, personal relationship, as sought in marriage, is often seen as the most desirable aspect of human existence. High expectations often predispose disappointment. However, with the development of good communication skills, this highly desired relationship can be realized. The most reliable way for your spouse to know your needs is […]

Feelings List

by Doug Weiss, Ph.D. This is a useful introductory exercise for those struggling to understand and express feelings: Feelings list I feel (put word here) when (put a present situation when you feel this). I first remember feeling (put the same feeling word here) when (explain earliest occurrence of this feeling) Abandoned Battered Considerate Distrusted Goofy […]

Death’s Head Hawk Moth Behavior

I like this example of mimicry to accomplish a purpose (unfortunately, this could be used as a negative example as well, but I like to use it as a positive one): click here to read an article on this animal model

Influencing the Behaviors of Others

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN Whether you are in the role of a parent, friend, spouse, or boss, we want to improve the behavior of others to better provide for your goals. The quickest and easiest method to accomplish this is punishment. However, punishment is not the most powerful way to provide sustainable behavioral change. Punishment […]

Using Rewards With Your Child

Many parents use rewards to try to change a child’s behavior. For example, you’ve probably said, “If you clean your room today, you can have pizza for dinner!” or “When you finish your homework, then you can visit your friend.” There are many things you can use for rewards, and most don’t cost any money. […]

Why A Teen Who Talks Back May Have A Bright Future

NPR News If you’re the parent of a teenager, you likely find yourself routinely embroiled in disputes with your child. Those disputes are the symbol of teen developmental separation from parents. It’s a vital part of growing up, but it can be extraordinarily wearing on parents. Now researchers suggest that those spats can be tamed […]

15 Suggestions for Constructive Conflict

G.R. Bach and R.M. Deutsch 15 Suggestions for Constructive Conflict When something happens to trigger a fight between marital partners, it is important to keep disagreement as constructive as possible by avoiding detrimental communication patterns. 1. Be specific when you introduce a gripe. Do not make sweeping, labeling judgments about his (or her) feelings, especially […]

Assertive Communication

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN Effective communication is often difficult to accomplish, especially if we have not practiced it well throughout our lives. In concept, assertive and tactful communication is very easy to comprehend. It is likely easy to recognize when it is used in communication towards us. The characteristics of assertive communication can be understood […]

Getting Your Mind to Work for You

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN The mind will occasionally drive us into behaviors and thoughts that are harmful, or impede us from accomplishing things that are valuable to us. This common struggle can be improve through a better understanding of how the complex machine that is the mind works. Here, the term “mind” references the experiential […]

Extinction Burst

Often when trying to change behavior, we experience a resurgence of the behavior, without apparent reason. This is known as the “extinction burst” and is actually an indication that the behavior is changing. click here to go to an nice article with illustration about this concept

The 5 “A’s” of Behavior Management

1. Anticipate high risk situations 2. Avoid known antecedents 3. Alter situations reduce antecedents 4. Find Alternatives for the behavior 5. Stay Active physically, socially and mentally

The A-B-C Model of Behavior

adapted from Albert Ellis, Ph.D. A – Antecedent What lets you know it is time to do the behavior B – Behavior What you do this is usually seen as what is the problem and needs to be changed. However, it is actually this entire relationship that needs to be changed to eliminate the unwanted […]

Tips for Better Performance in Competition

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN Anticipate what will distract you in competition. Resolve not to attend to it. Remind yourself what you have done to prepare for the competition Focus on slow, deep breathing before warming up for the competition. This will help your body prepare while giving your mind something to occupy itself with. Remember […]

Helping Those With Eating Disorders

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN Eating disorders can be a destructive and frustrating disorder for those who suffer with them, as well as their friends and family. There are several forms of eating disorders: Anorexia Nervosa where the person restricts food intake, has an intense fear of gaining weight, and an inaccurate perception of body weight […]

Developing Hobbies

Hobbies are an excellent means of self-care. We sometimes come to believe we are not allowed to take care of ourselves. If you are struggling to find good ways to take care of yourself through hobbies, these websites may be good places to start: click here to go to artofmanliness.com click here to go to […]

Academic Performance Problems and Psychological Testing

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN Sometimes it is hard to tell if children are just choosing not to focus on school work or if they are having real trouble achieving academically. Unfortunately, it is unlikely they will be provided any type of intervention in the school until they are failing badly. By that time, the child […]

Overcoming Addition

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN If you are addicted to something, you will find yourself spending a large amount of time and energy pursuing and doing the addiction. A person can be addicted to anything: we think of tobacco, alcohol, and drugs as common things; other things can be addictions such as shopping, social media use, […]

Choosing a Counselor

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN When deciding on the right counselor for you, the most basic thing to understand is their level of training. The better trained and/or the more appropriately trained they are, the more likely they are to be able to help you reach your goals. There are many degrees that can be used […]

Improving Optimal Performance and Life for Young Athletes

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN The phone rings in my office at the United States Air Force Academy Peak Performance Center, the Academy’s college counseling center. Coach Johnson, head coach of the Track and Field team says, “Hey, Troy, I have this really talented athlete, but her performance is just too unpredictable. If this keeps up, […]