» Archive by category "Relationships"

Getting Help

Here is a good quote from Amanda Palmer in  The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help.  It illustrates the point well that it is best to get help early, instead of waiting until things are so bad you are forced to… “A farmer is sitting on his porch […]

Tips About Suicidal Youth

This article can be found at Suicidal Youth and Their Families: Overcoming Barriers to Receiving Help Nadine Kaslow, PhD, 2013 President-Elect, American Psychological Association Setting the Stage Top Takeaways 1. Be knowledgeable about the truths that dispel the common myths about teen suicide. • It is the third-leading cause of death for 10-24 year olds. […]

Raising a Difficult Child

There seems to be a certain type of child that is difficult to understand and parent. They seem pleasant and intelligent most of the time, but can be emotionally explosive, may appear lazy, difficult to reason with, and intolerant of anything new or not to their liking. They are often curious, provocative thinkers, yet fail […]

Overly critical parenting linked with persistent ADHD in kids

Ariana Eunjung Cha (The Washington Post, February 9, 2016) If you’ve ever plopped down on your bed exhausted after chasing around your inattentive and hyperactive kid all day and wondered with self-doubt — “Could it possibly be me?” — a new study gives some credence to your worst fears. While scientists still haven’t determined the […]

Childhood Psychological Distress

from: Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, Special Issue (as presented in Monitor on Psychology January 2015, p. 18) Childhood psychological abuse may be as harmful as sexual or physical abuse, according to a study led by a psychologist at The Trauma Center at Justice Resource Institute in Brookline,Massachusetts. Researchers analyzed data from 5,616 youths […]

Feeling Loved

as reported in Monitor on Psychology Jan 2015 p. 22 from Social, Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, online Oct. 17 Seeing pictures of others being loved and cared for reduces the brain’s response to threat, according to a study led by University of Exeter psychologists. They used fMRI to study brain activity in 42 healthy adults […]

A Model for the Purpose of Anger

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN It is valuable to comprehend anger as a tool. Anger is manifest as either physical or verbal aggression. Usually, it is directed at the object or person that is denying the person, or assumed to deny the person, a resource. The resource can be physical, emotional, or experiential. The need or […]

Communicating More Effectively with Your Spouse

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN A deep, personal relationship, as sought in marriage, is often seen as the most desirable aspect of human existence. High expectations often predispose disappointment. However, with the development of good communication skills, this highly desired relationship can be realized. The most reliable way for your spouse to know your needs is […]

Feelings List

by Doug Weiss, Ph.D. This is a useful introductory exercise for those struggling to understand and express feelings: Feelings list I feel (put word here) when (put a present situation when you feel this). I first remember feeling (put the same feeling word here) when (explain earliest occurrence of this feeling) Abandoned Battered Considerate Distrusted Goofy […]

Death’s Head Hawk Moth Behavior

I like this example of mimicry to accomplish a purpose (unfortunately, this could be used as a negative example as well, but I like to use it as a positive one): click here to read an article on this animal model

Influencing the Behaviors of Others

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN Whether you are in the role of a parent, friend, spouse, or boss, we want to improve the behavior of others to better provide for your goals. The quickest and easiest method to accomplish this is punishment. However, punishment is not the most powerful way to provide sustainable behavioral change. Punishment […]

Using Rewards With Your Child

Many parents use rewards to try to change a child’s behavior. For example, you’ve probably said, “If you clean your room today, you can have pizza for dinner!” or “When you finish your homework, then you can visit your friend.” There are many things you can use for rewards, and most don’t cost any money. […]

Why A Teen Who Talks Back May Have A Bright Future

NPR News If you’re the parent of a teenager, you likely find yourself routinely embroiled in disputes with your child. Those disputes are the symbol of teen developmental separation from parents. It’s a vital part of growing up, but it can be extraordinarily wearing on parents. Now researchers suggest that those spats can be tamed […]

15 Suggestions for Constructive Conflict

G.R. Bach and R.M. Deutsch 15 Suggestions for Constructive Conflict When something happens to trigger a fight between marital partners, it is important to keep disagreement as constructive as possible by avoiding detrimental communication patterns. 1. Be specific when you introduce a gripe. Do not make sweeping, labeling judgments about his (or her) feelings, especially […]

Assertive Communication

Troy Todd, Ph.D., BCN Effective communication is often difficult to accomplish, especially if we have not practiced it well throughout our lives. In concept, assertive and tactful communication is very easy to comprehend. It is likely easy to recognize when it is used in communication towards us. The characteristics of assertive communication can be understood […]